me in my head: i'm going to get my life together and read classic novels and drink green tea and eat really healthy and wear cute outfits and make interesting artwork and spend lots of time outside. i'm going to start biking everywhere and walking and listening to lots of new indie bands that i've always wanted to listen to and take bubble baths and my life is just going to be amazing.
me in reality: well. today i think i'm going to watch netflix in my pjs and eat ice cream. and if i'm feeling really productive i might shower.
How to break up with someone: Give them a sock and tell them they are a free elf now.